me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
