If that was your dad, he is hot
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
