At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
