you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
