Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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