peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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