bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
