When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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