i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
God, I missed his penis.
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