Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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