he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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