You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize