I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
