apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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