and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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