i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
