The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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