he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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