apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the day after is always just damage control
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
