i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
