new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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