i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
