how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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