2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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