we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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