Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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