I want to have your abortion
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
