i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
