uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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