i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
that's an acceptable place to lick
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I have aggressive nipples.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
