Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
