I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
