after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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