he thought i was a dude.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize