just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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