I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You are the jesus of drinking
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
