You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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