The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
