yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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