Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
