You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im holly from the hills drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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