K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
