i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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