I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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