He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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