Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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