Kiss
Puke
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
