I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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