so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
