how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
