my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize