No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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