Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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