Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
