I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
