You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
