Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
